***Trigger Warning: sexual assault, moments of physical violence graphicness (few and far, but there)

Go Home, Afton by Brent Jones is a tense suspense novel told from the point of view of Afton, an introverted young woman working as a children’s librarian at the local Wakefield library. But Afton harbours a dark secret. Deep down, this mild-mannered, if snarky woman has a drive to kill. While she hasn’t yet, the craving is getting stronger, urged on by a fragment of self she calls Animus, a visual and auditory hallucination of herself. Afton has chosen her victim, a known serial rapist, and is planning her moment with care, much to the dismay of Animus. After a big scare, Afton knows she needs to take her prey down. Now. But there’s someone out there who knows Afton, and is watching her. Someone who knows about Animus. Who is the Shadowy Man, and what does he want? How far will his interference go?

I loved this story! I was a such cranky cat when it ended right where it did. Good cliffhanger point. I want the next book like yesterday! It’s to be a series, and I’m very curious to see how Afton grows and changes. I haz theories and I wanna know how they play out.

To me, with a shamanic practitioner background, and a degree in psychology, be it only a BA, Animus is more akin to a manifested Shadow Self, than she is anything else. She seems to reflect hidden aspects of Afton. Learning what made Animus manifest, she is doing what the Shadow Self is meant to do- help you retrieve your lost Power. The Power Afton lost during ‘the incident’.

Without proper guidance, these things do not always progress the path hoped for, and Afton certainly doesn’t have that guidance (yet). This means Animus will push for retrieval the only way she believes possible- violence against those who also cause ‘incidents’, instances of violence that strip away innocence. Afton has a stricter sense of this than Animus. Her Shadow would have been quite happy to take out the skeezy men in the Corridor, but not Afton. Animus is less picky. I think she believes only by turning Afton into a vicious killer can her lost Power not only be retained, but never lost again. And certainly, there are many cultures of the past that believed shed blood, especially of an enemy, was a source of great spiritual Power.

I don’t feel Afton is psychopathic (or sociopathic for that matter), nor truly a serial killer type deep down. People like that, they get broken at a very very young age and tend to progress from bullying, and harming small creatures, to killing said creatures, to killing humans, as the ratio of pleasure shrinks. Take Dexter Morgan, to whom I’ve seen Afton compared. She is not a female Dexter. Dexter’s shaping event took place when he was a tiny child. His adoptive father realised that the above scenarios were taking place. Rather than condemn Dex to a facility for life, Harry showed Dexter how to be the best he could be, bringing punk-ass criminals who got off in law courts to their deserved justice, and Harry gave Dexter the Code which helps keep him safe. Look too, at Hannibal Lecter, another literary serial killer. The horrific events that shaped his psyche happened when he was quite young, though not so young as Dex. It explains why he does the specific things he does. Even real-life killers tend to have violence and abuse in their childhoods. Do I think Afton has what it takes to become that? Sure, depending on how or if Animus is reintegrated. Do I think it likely? No, I don’t.

Afton seems like an overall nice, and quite introverted, person who doesn’t like hurting others all that much, despite the death fixation. Since we get her perspective and thoughts, we know how she really is. She refused to harm Neil, or Jared. She freaked and went into a fierce protective mode with Becca, and later with Kim. I think she’s even growing protective of Tia, though I doubt she’d admit it. These are not actions I would associate with a killer at heart. Nor do I get the feeling Afton has dissociative identity disorder. She is fully aware and interacting with Animus, never blacking out and waking to find herself in a pool of blood.

So, I am back to my Shadow theory. I’ve done Shadow work, and interact with my own Shadow Self, who calls herself Steele, in a similar manner to Afton with Animus. Steele tends to push me to be more assertive. The more of my sense of self-worth I regain, the stronger our bond, and the less frequently she manifests as such. We all have a Shadow, and it can rip us asunder if ignored. You can shove the darkness away, but you’ll be a stronger person with all your Shadow has to offer. I look forward to the next book in the series to see how my theories pan out (or not, as the case may be). Afton has some hard choices to make. She’ll need help from Animus, but she must remain in control of everything, making final choices herself.

***Many thanks to Reads and Reels Tours and the author for providing an egalley in exchange for a fair and honest review.